Needless and Shinigami
by Excalibursoul
Summary: So I was thinking what would happen in soul society if needless showed up hope it's a funny ride.
1. Chapter 1

This was it the moment the angel had been consumed by Adam Blade everyone knew the window was brief however and began to ask for Adam to fix it all. He was just about to tell everyone to shut up but something happened the universe decided to give a cosmic sucker punch of it's own. A whole was ripped open behind Blade as he was pulled in Aruka was soon restored to life and pulled as Cruz jumped in after her. Eve had gone after both Adam and Cruz as the other members of the girl squad Disk, Solvo, and Seto had gone after. Satan had looked at Gildo for a moment before going in after. Gido stayed behind as the woman he brought in was restored to health Teruyama jumped in last.

In soul society Jidando had just opened the gate after Ichigo beat him in a fight by breaking the mans axes it was just to bad Ichimaru Gin had appeared and was going to give the gate guardian a beating for opening the gate. Ichigo was about to charge in when a strange hole opened up in the sky and deposited some rather strange people. All of whom landed conveniently on Ichigo in a massive dog pile as everyones eyes were spinning.

"Is everyone all right." Cruz said somehow on top of the pile.

"I think so but where are we anyways." Disk said looking about the place.

"I do believe you are soul society everyone." A black cat said in front of the group.

"Hey that cat just spoke." As Eve managed to wiggle herself out picked the feline up. "I think I'll call you Noire cause your black."

"Actually my name is Yoruichi and I do believe you should be wary as that man right there is the third devision captain Ichimaru Gin." The cat informed as everyone got off of Ichigo who was squashed into the ground.

"Hey who's this orange hair guy anyways." Teruyama said pointing to the downed figure.

"Oh that, that's Ichigo Kurosaki don't mind him." Yoruichi said.

"I think I'll call him Yomato for short." Eve said.

"Wouldn't Ichi be shorter." Ohrihime said having gotten over her surprise of the strangers.

"Ahem I do believe we need to discuss the gate being opened here." Gin said with his foxlike grin on his face somewhat finding the strangers oddness refreshing.

"Oh right hey that cat said you were the third devision captain are there others." Cruz asked the white haired man.

"Well there are actually thirteen squads that in total with their captains also I would suggest you not to enter the seritei as it is off limits to you." Gin informed.

"Hey wait just a goddamned minute why the hell do we have to listen to you if we kick your ass we can go where ever we please." Adam Blade said as Cruz just sweat dropped as everyone else was looking to get ready for a fight it was then that the loud grumbling of Cruz's stomach triggered a chain reaction of groans.

"Ah I'm so hungry." Setsuna said.

"I'm going to go find some food." Cruz said as his sister went with along with Satan for some reason.

"Sorry but, I guess we should get some food to." Mio said as all the girls nodded their heads and left.

"Damn hey big guy you might as well shut that no bodies going through today." Teruyama stated as he walked off with Adam Blade.

Jidando looked about and looked at Gin who was still smiling before shrugging as Gin nodded and the gate was closed.

"Those have to be the oddest individuals I have ever met." Gin said as he walked off.

Ichigo came to as he was being looked over by his friends as he groaned as he got to his feet. "What the hell happened?"

"Well you'd never believe us if we told you but this weird portal opened up and then these strange people fell right on top of you and knocked you out." Ohrihime said.

"What for real." As Ichigo looked around seeing everyone was giving him yes really looks.

"Gotta admit they were oddest wierdo's I have ever laid eyes on." Uryu said.

Cruz had found the perfect place to chow down as everyone was busy getting as much food as they could into their stomachs. A group of four people had gone by all of them were riding large boars as the leader was a man with a green bandana on over his black hair black eyes he wore a green and white sleeveless shirt with a red sash black pants with a white design on the side his left eyebrow was somewhat missing.

"Did all of you just see a group of people riding what appears to be very large boars." Satan said as everyone nodded he simply shrugged his shoulders as everyone resumed eating.

Once done the group went back to find the leader of the boar riding group fighting the orange haired Ichigo as the two were trading blows a alarm clock had gone off as the leader then high tailed it out.

"Um what the hell was that about." Cruz asked.

"Oh you know some guy was upset that a soul reaper was in Ryokan district." Uryu said.

"I don't get it why would somebody be mad at Ichigo just cause he's soul reaper." Cruz said.

"Substitute." Ichigo corrected while sitting on the ground with a bit of soar pride.

"Even still shouldn't you call on the other soul reapers to help clear up this mess." Adam said.

"Well part of the reason we're here is that the members of soul society have taken a friend of ours with them because she did something against their laws and well we're here to rescue her." Ohrihime said.

"Oh hey wait let me try something." As Cruz went over to the gate and knocked on it lightly. "Hello can I please talk to someone in there."

Suddenly Two soul reapers hoped atop the gate and looked down on Cruz one was a man the other was a woman. "Yes what is it?" The woman said in annoyance.

"I was just wondering what's going on over there with." Cruz started to ask but turned to Ichigo's group. "Hey by the way what did you say you're friends name was."

"It's Rukia Kuchiki." Chad said.

"Yeah with Rukia Kuchiki." Cruz finished asking.

"She's set to be executed in about a weeks time." The man said as Cruz winced at that.

"What did she do that was so bad." Cruz asked.

"I think it was treason normally it's just exile if you're charged with it however for some reason the central 46 thought she needed to be executed." Cruz could see that even the soul reapers didn't fully understand it.

"Oh okay can you get somebody like a devision captain in order for me to have a better grasp." Cruz asked.

"Sure I'll go grab captain Ukitake Kushiro he is the devision thirteen captain and was Rukia's captain." The woman said before dashing off.

"By the way which devision do you answer to?" Cruz looked over and could see some stunned looks from Ichigo's group and the thumbs up from the other Needless.

"We both answer to Hitsugaya Toshiro devision ten captain he's currently napping right now." The man said back.

"Wait hold on why are you giving her special treatment in the first place." Ichigo yelled feeling slightly offended by how Cruz was treated special.

"Well the real reason is neither me nor my friend can resist cute things and she caught a glance at her underwear and saw a cute bear on it." the man said with a perverted grin and red cheeks while cruz had a white eyed look and red cheeks as well from embarrassment.

"I'm proud of you man." Adam Blade said with a grin and thumbs up as Eve began to clap it was then Ichigo kicked Adam in the head for being a pervert.

"You damn perv I'm going to kick your ass." Ichigo said as blade got up and huge dust cloud formed with the two trading blows with one another.

It was then that Kushiro showed up with his two third seats as he looked down at the spectacle before him he couldn't help but laugh as a soul reaper and priest seemed to be beating each other senseless. The priest got the soul reaper in a headlock and began to punch him in the head before the soul reaper slipped out and did an elbow drop on him.

"Excuse me sir." Kushiro head turned to the direction of a green haired girl with twin tails.

"Yes how may I help you today." Kushiro asked with his most welcoming of smiles.

"I was wondering on the trial of Kuchiki Rukia." Cruz asked.

"The central 46 have already passed judgement on her." Kushiro said.

"I understand that however was there anybody who defended her when judgement was passed." Cruz asked.

"Um well no the fact remains that it's a done deal however I have problems with it myself there is very little I can do at the moment." Kushiro answered honestly. "But if you really want to get in and rescue her I would ask Shiba Kukaku though you didn't hear it from me."

"Oh thank you we'll do just that." Cruz said walking away.

"Hey wait here ya go." Kushiro then threw a large amount of candy into Cruz's arms who caught it. "Hope to see you around."

Cruz walked over to the group as the girls began grabbing candy out of Cruz's arms as he started munching on a chocolate bar.

"So our best bet for getting inside is to meet up with this Kukaku person." Aruka summarized.

"Looks like." Teruyama said.

Cruz yawned loudly and decided it was now a good time to get some shut eye as everyone followed suit and decided to stay at the elders place.

Once everyone was fully rested they began their trek to Kukaku's place as it was also a good friend of Yoruichi who was leading them all there everyone in Ichigo's group was trying to guess what type of cat Kukaku was as Ichigo was being carried by Mio with a grimace on his face.

"Hey Yamada what do you think Kukaku looks like any ways." Eve asked.

"Me I'm picturing a woman with one arm with black hair and green eyes who smokes from a pipe." Cruz said as Yoruichi was stunned for a second as that was a very accurate description of her friend.

They arrived at her residence which was a large chimney sticking out of the ground with two large fists coming out of the ground with a large banner being held by them.


	2. Chapter 2

Everyone waited as two men had stopped the group as a woman emerged who matched Cruz's description even the cross dressing boy was surprised at how accurate he got it.

Kukaku looked over the group and was a little surprised to see a priest among the group. "Well what are you doing here father don't you have a church to run or something."

"Nah I'm just here to kick but and take names." Blade answered.

The group went down to the basement of the place while Ohrihime decided to see if Cruz had some psychic abilities or not. "Hey Yamada can I talk to you for a moment." The girl asked.

"Oh uh sure." Cruz said.

"Well I was just wondering who do you think is behind all this I mean you guessed what Kukaku looked like pretty accurately and well I'm little curious who you think it might be behind our friends execution." Ohrihime asked.

"Hm well I think it's one of the devision captains myself I think it would be a man with brown hair and black eyes who wears a pair of glasses who is up to something." Cruz said.

"You just described the fifth devision captain Sosuke Aizen." Yuroichi said.

"Really must be a lucky guess on my part." Cruz said.

In his office Aizen just sneezed. "Hm somebody must be talking about me."

"Something wrong captain." Momo asked.

"Nothing Momo just a sneeze is all." Aizen said before he went back to his paper work.

"Oh yeah really who else do you think else might be helping him then." Ichigo said poking fun at Cruz a little.

"Hm I would say he would have a group that could match the captains of soul societies abilities and were a separate entity altogether." Cruz shrugged.

"There are Arrancars though they come from hollows they would be closest thing to what you would be looking for." Kukaku said.

Once they got to the area they were looking for did everyone sit down Cruz sighed and decided to rest a bit as the Mio came near him.

"Oh hey Mio what's up." Cruz asked.

"Just wondering how long till we find ourselves in another crazy situation." Mio said just then Kukaku's brother Ganju came in Ichigo imediately recognized him and the two got in a fight rolling around on the ground.

"Sigh I'd say right about now I'm going to be outside if you need me." Cruz said.

"I'll go with you." Aruka said.

"Come one lets get out of here." Setsuna said taking the rest of the girl squad as Eve and Disk followed to.

Cruz held up his hand began a countdown as Teruyama joined as well as Satan, Cruz started at five and went down when it reached zero did Seto, Solva, Chad, Uryu, Orhihime, and Koganehiko all scrambled outside while a great big blast of fire was shot out of the basement.

"You have some freaky abilities for knowing when trouble is about to happen." Setsuna said.

"Blackspot remember." Cruz said.

"Right still it's like you got ESP or something." Seto said.

"Let's head back inside." Cruz said as everyone went inside Kukaku was busy ringing out Ichigo for what he did to her pipe and told him to follow her rules.

"Hey wait a minute why weren't you affected like these two from that attack." Kukaku asked as Blade was just standing there.

"Oh I can answer that he's immune to fire." Satan said.

"Right well I'm keeping the girls in the school uniforms here as collateral as I really don't trust you right now." Kukaku said.

"Sure, sure just make sure to look after my underlings okay." Blade said.

"Alright let's get the training started then." Kukaku said.

"Hey I have some questions." Ichigo said as Solva had lost her patience.

"Stop flapping your mouth before I decide to freaking kill you." The blue haired girl snapped with a sadistic looking face.

"Yes ma'am." Both Ichigo and Ganju said together.

"Geez personality change." Uryu said.

"Nah she's always been like that." Eve said.

"Alright lets see your spiritual pressure." Yuroichi said as everyone was giving it a try.

Uryu's energy was a sharp pointed arrow like blue aura, Chad's was a round ball that covered his body, Ohrihime was smaller than Chads, and Ichigo's was a ball that lasted for about five seconds before it exploded.

"Someone's got a lot of energy." Eve said as hers was a green ball of energy.

"I'll say." Teruyama was a orange ball, Aruka's was a red ball, as Satan himself had a yellow ball, Solva had a purple ball, and Seto had a grey ball.

"Come on it was easy." Blade said with a white ball surrounding him.

"Well you guys look like you've gotten the hang of it although I haven't seen any spiritual energy that quite took on that form are you guys sure you're human." Kukaku said to the Needless.

"Well that's the thing we're all Needless." Cruz said.

"Needless what's that." Ichigo asked.

"Well to put it in simple terms there are a lot of places in the brain that don't get used we however have managed to unlock these areas, like me for instance I can use an anti material shield to protect myself and others. Mio here has superhuman strength." Cruz said motioning to tiny girl. "Kuchinashi has a fragrance ability that can control the mind." Cruz then put his hand on the silent girls shoulder. "Setsuna has her speed." Cruz then nodded his head at the last member of the girl squad.

"Cruz is really smart and figure things no one else can just by looking at something weather they be abilities or a crime scene photo." Disk said.

"I actually liked having Cruz in the dorms of our school." Kuchinashi said on her notepad.

"You mean the fact when he was asleep you would sneak into be with him." Setsuna said as the others who weren't Needless thought they misheard the girl.

"You used to put Cruz in cute underwear whilst he slept." Kuchinashi said while Cruz paled a bit.

"Is there no one who didn't abuse me while I slept." The crossdresser yelled.

"Um I didn't." Satan said as Cruz looked over at his sister who looked a little sheepish.

"What did you do Sis." Cruz asked fearing the answer.

"I couldn't help it you were just laying there looking cute and well." As Aruka showed a photo of what she had to Cruz as the boy was quick to snatch it and hide it away.

"We never talk about this." Cruz said white as a ghost.

"Ah hell kid didn't you know it's the big sisters right to make the younger siblings life hell when she wants." Kukaku said as she turned her attention back to Ichigo. "Well get back to practicing you aren't going to make it in."

"Hey I'm going to head back to the gate and see if I can't get an update of what's going on if that's okay." Cruz said as he got up and left once he got to the front gate did he knock again.

This time it was a dark blond haired woman who answered she had blue eyes and was wearing the usual outfit for the Shinigami only she had a pink scarf around her shoulders and a bit of her cleavage was revealed by how loose she had the top open with a gold chain necklace. "Yes can I help you." The woman said pleasantly yet was a little defensive.

"Yes I was just wondering about an update on Rukia's execution I was talking to a man called Jushiro." Cruz answered.

"Oh you're that kid who was talking to captain Ukitake." Rangiku said.

"Yeah that's me so any changes." Cruz asked.

"Matsumoto what are you doing." Came a younger persons voice.

"Oh just giving the person who spoke to captain Ukitake an update captain." Rangiku said pleasantly.

Just then a boy who looked to be around Cruz's age had hoped onto the gate next to Rangiku he had white hair with blue eyes his Hoari looked a little big on him as his sword was strapped to his back Cruz noticed the woman's sword was also strapped to her back.

"Yeah what do you want?" Toshiro said impatiently.

"Just looking for an update sir." Cruz spoke respectfully.

"On Rukia's execution well it's still going ahead as the date has already been set." Toshiro said to the kid.

"Oh thank you I'll just be going then." Cruz said turning his back to the gate.

"Hey wait is it true you have cute bear panties." The woman yelled as Cruz froze in shock.

"Uh yeah why." Cruz asked.

"Oh no reason." As Cruz could see the spark of Mischief in the woman's eye before scrambling away.

"Well what a nice kid." Rangiku said hoping down on the ground.

Cruz was quick to make it back and found everyone sleeping in Futons Cruz looked around and found an area that a bunch of Ganju's old clothes and decided to change into them. The next morning Cruz awoke in order to make breakfast as something good was being smelt in the kitchen.

"Hey what smells good." Uryu asked.

"Oh Cruz is just cooking breakfast." Aruka said as she was actually terrible at it.

"Alright everyone come and get it." Cruz came out as his hair was back to it's original length just a little longer while he wore a white no sleeve shirt and black baggy pants.

"Hey kid wheres Cruz at anyway." Ichigo asked the boy.

"Oh that well I am Cruz I was actually crossdressing." Cruz said honestly.

"Wow you sure made one cute and convincing girl." Ohrihime as both Uryu and Ichigo had surprised looks on their faces.

"No we lost our crossdresser." Disk wailed as a rain cloud formed over her head as she made circles in with her finger in the ground as the other members of the girl squad equally saddened looks.

"Oh come on you can't mean to say you were having me crossdress for your own amusement." Cruz said with a twitched brow.

"Yes we did." Came the other Needless replies with the exception being his sister and Satan.

"Geez kid talk about a tough crowd." Ichigo said.

"You don't know the half of it." Cruz admitted.

Soon it was time for everyone to make the great break into soul society as Kukaku had launched everyone from a giant canon that had them soaring into the force field of soul society. It had broken through as the great ball of spirit energy everyone was maintaining was broken apart as everyone found them selves in different parts of soul society.


	3. Chapter 3

Seto and Solva were walking away as group of soul reapers groaned in pain having just been put through the ringer by the two girls.

"Geez not five minutes in and we get attacked on sight." Seto said.

"Yeah though you'd think they'd be better than this I mean seriously I wasn't even trying." Solva said the two women continued on there way until Toshiro and Rangiku stood in there way.

"You two are stoping this right now and coming with us don't make us use force on you." Toshiro said a hand on the handle of his sword.

"Listen kid best you leave wouldn't want to get hurt now would you." Seto said with a arrogant smile.

"Rangiku let's take them down." Toshiro said.

"Right captain." Rangiku said as they both pulled out their swords and charged the strange girls.

In another part Blade was walking along the path when he felt bloodlust and turned to see a man with spikey black hair with bells on the end of the tips a couple of scars on his face with a eye patch on the right eye with a ripped up Hoari over the regular soul reaper outfit.

"Well this looks like it's going to be a lot of fun." Blade said as the man grinned.

"You don't know how much fun this going to be." Kenpachi said as Blade popped his knuckles and smiled back.

Yachiru looked on smiled and began to lick her lips this guy looked like he was going to be a lot of fun to watch just like Kenny.

Satan and Aruka were walking down a section of road no body was really bothering the two that is until the ran into a woman with black hair down up in braid with blue eyes she was very slender and was attractive in her own right. She was wearing the standard soul reaper outfit with a white Hoari on.

"Um ma'am are you by any chance lost." Aruka asked the woman.

"Oh me no I am just on my way to fourth devision barracks I have some patients there who need tending." Unohana said with a pleasant smile.

"Well maybe we could escort you there make sure nothing bad happens." Satan said shrugging his shoulders.

"Hm okay by the way what are a pair of Ryokan's like you doing in soul society." Unohana asked.

"Oh that well we're help this weird group break there friend out I really don't get it myself." Aruka sighed.

"Oh that friend wouldn't happen to be Rukia Kuchiki would it." Unohana said.

"Hm yeah that's the name now." Aruka said before dodging a sword strike by the woman.

"That's to bad I'll have to bring the both of you in then sorry about this." Unohana said with a smile.

"I really wish we didn't have to do this." Aruka said.

"Let's try not to kill her." Satan said.

Elsewhere Eve was walking along the road when she looked over her shoulder did she see a woman with black hair and grey eyes as she was glaring daggers at Eve she was smaller than Eve and was in a soul reaper outfit with a white Hoari.

"You there are trespassing." The woman said in as authoritative a voice as she could.

"Geez you're a lot of fun Yoruichi is way more laid back than you." Eve said as the woman gained a look of shock.

"You know lady Yoruichi where is she tell me now." Sui-Feng said.

"I don't know we all got separated." Eve said finding it weird that Yoruichi was called Lady.

"Your coming with me." Sui-Feng said before leaping out of the way of Eve launching a drill that she turned her hand into.

"Sorry but, you're going to have to do better than that." Eve said with a grin.

Ichigo was with Ganju as the pair had run into their own type of trouble being surrounded by a bunch of soul reapers was not looking good for them.

Chad was resting in house not to far away as Ohrihime and Uryu stole some soul reaper uniforms in order to blend in better.

Cruz had gotten up and began to fix lunch for everyone in the Kukaku's house as he thought about this weird place he realized why should he leave he was perfectly happy here.

"What's on your mind Cruz." Disk asked.

"Oh you know Disk thinking about setting up a restaurant here or something you know as a means to make a living." Cruz said.

"Hey we can all work there as we'll need money to and I don't think that what we used to do is going to cut it." Kuchinashi wrote down.

"Yeah I'm game for that." Setsuna said.

"Well so long as we're all in agreement what should we call the place." Disk asked.

"Oh I know the Yamada." Mio said.

"Hm yeah I like it." Disk said.

"Well now how are we going to keep Teruyama, Blade, and Satan from going nuts." Cruz asked as he knew full well that all three liked being in the thick of it.

"We'll think of something." Setsuna said. "In the mean time we have to think about who should greet the customers?"

"I think Mio would be perfect for it." Cruz said as everyone nodded. "I think Disk should handle the finances as Setsuna and Kuchinashi can help me in the kitchen."

"Uh I'm not the best cook." Setsuna said.

"Can't be worse than my sister or Mio." Cruz said as he looked apologetically at Mio who waved it off.

"I suppose not." Kuchinashi wrote down.

"What about Seto, Solva, and Eve." Mio asked.

"Well Seto and Solva can actually be guarding the place to make sure no one steps out of line." Cruz said. "Eve can work the till and my sister can take the orders."

"That could work." Disk said.

Back in soul society Teruyama was walking down the road when a man stepped in front of him he had grey eyes black hair with a white headpiece was wearing a white Hoari over the soul reapers usual dress.

"Who the hell are you suppose to be." Teruyama said flicking his cigarette at Byakuya.

"I am Byakuya Kuchiki captain of the sixth devision." Byakuya said in annoyed manner.

"Man you need to loosen up you wouldn't happen be a relation to that Rukia girl." Teruyama just popped his neck.

"She's my sister what relationship do you have with her." Byakuya narrowed his eyes.

"Honestly none what so ever but, some strange people were busting her out so we decided to help out." Teruyama lighting up his hand on fire.

"You're coming with me." Byakuya said reaching for his sword.


End file.
